Pencil drawing and softly singing for dealing with intense feelings, emotional states and overwhelm..
Using your own voice while drawing is a good way to increase capacity for energetic intensity, which allows you to feel what there is to be felt without acting out, or decompensating. Add to that as a bonus the intention to help others if you chose. This process leaves you not discharged or depleted, but energized. More able. I am describing a little of my process below. Video and text of the song is below.
Yesterday was a tough day. Many of you felt it. I knew something was up by breakfast time at 6 am.
Between the forests burning everywhere in the world and a layer of myself presenting itself that I knew was there but that 99.9 % of the time I am blissfully not feeling these days, by the time late evening rolled around, I was standing there in the dark wishing: sometimes I wish there was someone here who could just hold me, or look at me, no words, yet total understanding. Like a true companion, a true intimate, a friend. I was lucky enough to have felt seen through and through in my life and what a relief, joy and wonder that was.
However, here I was with all that intensity going on – so much to feel and hold all at once – and I considered my actual options at the time. There were the confines of the living situation. Screaming into a pillow…rejected…it would not lead to growth, or true relief, just energetic discharge, useful at a certain time, but for me no longer something I want. Drama and breakdown, not interested, cry myself to sleep…only to feel totally drained for at least a whole next day, no thank you.
I stood there wishing for a moment that I played any musical instrument masterfully, at least well enough, so that I could express all this musically, one of the greatest gifts, alas, I play no such thing. Energy – contained.
What did I have? Ah, pencil and paper, right there, and my voice. I already knew that I need to work with my voice. There was my presence, willingness and intention, the ability to be there for myself, and I started drawing and softly singing, the voice almost breaking several times. After a couple of minutes I thought: I will record it and turned the old cell phone on.
This is for all those in need of being held, all the innocent creatures running from the flames, fleeing the fire or being burnt, and all those who cannot move.
It is time for everyone to wake up and start being true to who they are, how they know themselves to be. It is time.
The world is literally burning up. For how long are we, as humanity, going to distract ourselves? Waking up and living in the ground of being is needed. Growing up into a harmonious being, divine and human child, divine mother/feminine and divine father/masculine present and developing the higher mind, the deeper feeling and the more joyful, innocent energetics. It does not matter what your outer physical or your inner orientation may be, everyone needs to develop this to move on to a higher level.
In the Western world (or patriarchal culture in general), the true heart, the capacity for caring, loving and compassion in deeper and wider and infinite measure, is quite underdeveloped. For those with a limited nervous system capacity (who often suffered from c-PTSD or see themselves as empaths), it is important to recognize the capacity of your nervous system container, and, if it serves, to work to increase it.
This video is in part a demo of being with intensity that is too much, without suppressing it and just moving on to some unrelated project in life, trying to forget about it. When the container is full, there is either overflow or explosion, depending on the pressure. What is needed is: growing the container bigger, a “being with”, a presence, and channel the energy into something that can be worked with, much like in sexual alchemy, where the non-discharged energy can be used for work, building higher bodies, for creativity.
So this video is an example of the overwhelm, the agony, the feeling, the longing, the heart wrenching pain – expressed with the tools of untrained voice and paper and pencil.
You can hear the trembling, and the drawing at times. I am happy to report that there is no drained feeling the next day, no despair, but quite the opposite, energy to work with….whatever I might “think of” or feel about it today.
This song is for my own self, all the infants and little kids everywhere who are not being held like they need to, from then on making it through life the best they can, and for all the forests and jungles burning all over the world and all the living creatures in it. I put most of the words into the video, and the entire text on the web page for those who want to google translate.
Disclaimer: Although this process left me energized this morning watching and also allowing yourself to feel this could nonetheless trigger in you spaces not easy to be with. Presence highly recommended.
Nervous system regulation and being at the limit of one’s capacity is nothing new for those with a history of early infant and childhood trauma.
If you try this, you will make up your own words.
It is important to feel it all, rather than suppress it or deny it…and this process helps you do that while staying present.
There are many ways to deal with activated states approaching overwhelm. This here does only requires a pencil, paper and your own voice. You can feel everything, don’t deny anything, but commit to softly singing to yourself.
Start drawing and start singing. The process takes about 10 minutes, maybe longer, maybe less.
Give it a try
It is not an energy discharge, but capacity building and a creative process, that will not be depleting or incapacitating.
I Am Holding You
I am holding you
I am holding you
Through all the tears I’m holding you
When no one else will
I am holding you
I am holding you
Forever holding you
When no one else will
I am holding you
I am loving you
I am holding you
When no one else will
I am loving you
I am loving you
When no one else will
I am holding you
I am holding you
I am holding you
forever in my heart
I am holding you
Through all the flames and burning
I am holding you
Through all the lonely times
I am holding you
for growing up and screaming
I am holding you
Forever in my heart
I am holding you
through all the fires burning
I am holding you
Through all the dying pain
I am holding you
through all these fires burning
I am holding you
forever in my heart
I am holding you
through all these fires burning
I am holding you
through agony and pain
I am holding you
forever in my heart.
I am holding you
if you did try to run away
I am holding you
forever in my heart.
Forever in my heart.
In the safe space of this womb,
come again, my love
In the safe space of this womb
come again, my love
For I have to give my heart today
For I have to live this heart today
For I have to live this heart today
Forevermore again again
I am holding you
I am loving you
Come again come again my friend.